"...The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. It is he who invented the sublime art of ruining poetry."
The world's biggest fears have finally been realized. Former female teen Disney stars have started joining the Marines in droves, so many that a special force has been formed with the likes of Selena Gomez leading secret strike force in the dead of night in Kurdish controlled Iraq.
"Its just like, sooooo empowering," said Gomez by short wave radio, "the first night out we captured this ISIS bastard and I gave his beard a perm from hell, he'll never be able to do prayers in public again!"
"It's truly a new form of psychological warfare," said General Wisecroft of the 783rd Batallion, "Selena is on her way to becoming a 5 star General someday, but today "terrorists" are already starting to fear her!"
Other Disney teams in on the raids in Northern Iraq near the Syrian border were lead by; Miley Cirus, Demi Lovato, Vanessa Hudgens, Lindsey Lohan, and of course Britney Spears. All have officer rankings and are leading squads of "wannabe" Disney stars with very similar looks and hair styles.
"I love running in the desert here buff naked!" said Miley Cyris, "Just that machine gun against my nipples gives me the biggest thrill!"
President Obama's chief of Staff has denied the existence of such a squad, even after photographic evidence was presented. "This administration would never violate the Geneva Conventions of cruelty, by allowing such a squad to capture and torture innocent terrorists."
No comments:
Post a Comment