Sunday, December 8, 2013

How To Treat Elves

I met an elf man in the woods, The wee-est little elf! Sitting under a mushroom tall-- 'Twas taller than himself!

"How do you do, little elf," I said, "And what do you do all day?" "I dance 'n fwolic about," said he, "'N scuttle about and play;"

"I s'prise the butterflies, 'n when A katydid I see, 'Katy didn't' I say, and he Says 'Katy did!' to me!

"I hide behind my mushroom stalk When Mister Mole comes froo, 'N only jus' to fwighten him I jump out'n say 'Boo!

"'N then I swing on a cobweb swing Up in the air so high, 'N the cwickets chirp to hear me sing 'Upsy-daisy-die!'

"'N then I play with the baby chicks, I call them, chick chick chick! 'N what do you think of that?" said he. I said, "It makes me sick.

"It gives me sharp and shooting pains To listen to such drool." I lifted up my foot, and squashed The God damn little fool.