So you want a shitty amateur tattoo, obtained without the hassle or expense that can accompany experienced professionals and sterile environments, but you’re not SO obtuse as not to fear the Hep C, tetanus and necrotizing fasciitis you can get from using a safety pin and ink harvested from a ballpoint pen? Stick and Poke is here, claiming to render safe your brave and likely idiotic choice with their home tattoo kits, containing sealed needles, basic sterility supplies, and vegan ink, which is important for some reason.
"...The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. It is he who invented the sublime art of ruining poetry."
The world's biggest fears have finally been realized. Former female teen Disney stars have started joining the Marines in droves, so many that a special force has been formed with the likes of Selena Gomez leading secret strike force in the dead of night in Kurdish controlled Iraq.
"Its just like, sooooo empowering," said Gomez by short wave radio, "the first night out we captured this ISIS bastard and I gave his beard a perm from hell, he'll never be able to do prayers in public again!"
"It's truly a new form of psychological warfare," said General Wisecroft of the 783rd Batallion, "Selena is on her way to becoming a 5 star General someday, but today "terrorists" are already starting to fear her!"
Other Disney teams in on the raids in Northern Iraq near the Syrian border were lead by; Miley Cirus, Demi Lovato, Vanessa Hudgens, Lindsey Lohan, and of course Britney Spears. All have officer rankings and are leading squads of "wannabe" Disney stars with very similar looks and hair styles.
"I love running in the desert here buff naked!" said Miley Cyris, "Just that machine gun against my nipples gives me the biggest thrill!"
President Obama's chief of Staff has denied the existence of such a squad, even after photographic evidence was presented. "This administration would never violate the Geneva Conventions of cruelty, by allowing such a squad to capture and torture innocent terrorists."
Lobotomy, also known as leucotomy, is a neurosurgical operation that involves severing connections in the brain's prefrontal lobe, according to Encyclopaedia Britannica. Lobotomies have always been controversial, but were widely performed for more than two decades as treatment for schizophrenia, manic depression and bipolar disorder, among other mental illnesses.
Ancient Barrier Canyon-style paintings crafted on sunset-washed rock faces of the Great Gallery, located in Horseshoe Canyon in southern Utah's Canyonlands National Park, are younger than expected, say Utah State University scientists.
The Fremont people (called more generally Fremont or Fremont culture) refers to a farming culture that lived in the high sagebrush and pinyon region of the eastern Great Basin and the western Colorado Plateau of the southwestern United States, including portions of Utah, Nevada, and Colorado. The artifacts and cultural lifestyle of the Fremont existed from ~1400 and 600 cal BP (~AD 600-1400); archaeological investigations suggest that climate change put an end to the culture.
Brad Parker told his father it was "the happiest day of his life." On Saturday, the 36-year-old Northern California and veteran rock climber proposed to his girlfriend on a mountaintop at Yosemite, the Santa Rosa Press Democrat reports. But hours later, tragedy struck when Parker fell to his death during a climb at a nearby ridge.
The Siberian Ice Maiden, also known as the Princess of Ukok and the Altai Princess of Ochi-Bala, is a 2,500-year-old mummy of a woman found in 1993 in a kurgan (mound) of the Pazyryk culture in the Republic of Altai, Russia. It was considered to be among the most significant Russian archaeological findings of the late 20th century.
The indigenous people of Altai believe the Ice Maiden was a priestess who chose to die to protect the Earth from evil spirits and that the scientific testing on her remains have angered her spirit, causing natural disasters. As a result, a council of elders in Russia’s Altay Region have now voted to rebury her remains in order to appease her spirit.
The National Park Service (NPS) and the Museum of Northern Arizona (MNA) excavated nine archaeological sites along the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon during three years of fieldwork. The NPS/MNA excavation project was the first major archaeological excavation to occur along the river corridor in Grand Canyon in nearly 40 years. The NPS has a “preservation-in-place” mandate, and excavates archaeological sites only when they cannot be stabilized and preserved in place. These sites were disappearing due to erosion; artefacts were literally washing into the river. Because these sites were being lost, the NPS initiated excavations to learn more about the people who lived here before the archaeological evidence of their lives in the canyon was completely gone.
Archaeologists excavated the sites, exposing them for a few days or weeks during which time these videos were taken. Immediately after excavation, the sites were reburied to protect them from further damage from exposure to the elements and possible damage from visitation. This video and the virtual tour (below) is now the only way to experience these places where people once lived.
A fisherman inadvertently dragged up one of the most significant pieces of evidence for the existence of ancient inhabitants of North America prior to the Clovis people, who walked the land some 15,000 years ago. A small wooden scallop trawler was dredging the seafloor off the coastline of Chesapeake Bay, when he hit a snag. When he pulled up his net, he found a 22,000-year-old mastodon skull and a flaked blade made of a volcanic rock called rhyolite. A report in Live Science says that the combination of the finds may suggest that people lived in North America, and possibly butchered the mastodon, thousands of years before people from the Clovis culture, who are widely thought to be the first settlers of North America and the ancestors of all living Native Americans.
“That’s the thing about the collapse of civilization, Blake. It never happens according to plan – there’s no slavering horde of zombies. No actinic flash of thermonuclear war. No Earth-shuddering asteroid. The end comes in unforeseen ways; the stock market collapses, and then the banks, and then there is no food in the supermarkets, or the communications system goes down completely and inevitably, and previously amiable co-workers find themselves wrestling over the last remaining cookie that someone brought in before all the madness began.”
“the wilderness should be preserved for political reasons. We may need it someday not only as a refuge from excessive industrialism but also as a refuge from authoritarian government, from political oppression. Grand Canyon, Big Bend, Yellowstone, and the High Sierras may be required to function as bases for guerrilla warfare against tyranny...The value of wilderness, on the other hand, as a base for resistance to centralized domination is demonstrated by recent history. In Budapest and Santo Domingo, for example, popular revolts were easily and quickly crushed because an urbanized environment gives the advantage to the power with technological equipment. But in Cuba, Algeria, and Vietnam the revolutionaries, operating in mountain, desert, and jungle hinterlands with the active or tacit support of a thinly dispersed population, have been able to overcome or at least fight to a draw official establishment forces equipped with all of the terrible weapons of twentieth century militarism.”
― Edward Abbey
Bear Grylls, survival expert, tragically broke down and entered what appears to be a catatonic state on his latest adventure in the Siberian Tundra due to the onset of hypothermia after being left alone by his camera crew for five minutes. The team was in shock after they returned to witness their friend planted in the snow, naked, with only his moccasins on.
Man, I don't know," said assistant director Fred Willow. "We left seeing him all snuggled up with his caribou pelts and when we came back there he was. I mean we were only gone for five minutes. Five minutes, man! I didn't realize so much could happen. We were so wrong!"
In retrospect, the camera crew admitted that they should have known it was a huge mistake to leave a man alone who would literally put anything in his mouth, unless they hid it.
While looking for any indication on what might have happened, on site personal located Bear Grylls' pants, which were apparently soaked in piss and upon further analysis appeared to be covered in bear semen.
"The signs are just so clear now. Should a man really be the face of survival if one of us has to keep tying his shoes every fucking two seconds? We told him Velcro but he wouldn't even touch the shoes unless they lit up," said head chef Harry Carlton.
When asked about what would happen to Grills, sound recorder Phillip Jay said, "Well, right now, we're currently in the middle of phase one. Where we poke him with a twig continually for a few hours just to make sure that he'll recover. Then we'll proceed to the much simpler phase two, where we toss him into any old ravine, yunno, just for a laugh."
"...There is no shortage of water in the desert but exactly the right amount , a perfect ratio of water to rock, water to sand, insuring that wide free open, generous spacing among plants and animals, homes and towns and cities, which makes the arid West so different from any other part of the nation. There is no lack of water here unless you try to establish a city where no city should be.”